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More Americans Finding Sweet Solace in Candy!

March 24, 2009

alexander

According to this article in the NY Times, the ruinous economic climate is causing people to consume more candy. In their words: “The recession seems to have a sweet tooth. As unemployment has risen and 401(k)’s have shrunk, Americans, particularly adults, have been consuming growing volumes of candy, from Mary Janes and Tootsie Rolls to Gummy Bears and cheap chocolates, say candy makers, store owners and industry experts.” What are some of the popular products for this time of desperation?

  • Everlasting Jobstoppers
  • Boston Hobo Fire-Baked Beans
  • Uncle Myron’s Hoof-Flavored Bindle Plumpers
  • Spit-moistened corn husks
  • Milky Way Midnight Terrors
  • Room-Temperature Tamales
  • Stockburst
  • Withered organ meat harvested from emaciated family pets
  • Licorice Ropes (Now with Sourpatch nooses!)
  • Very Thin Mints
  • Old Man Madoff’s 100 Grand Bar
  • Bit-O-Money
  • Housing Bubblicious
  • The sickly-sweet taste of fear
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