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Exclusive Preview of Fabolous’ Rad New Web Portal!

March 13, 2009


According to BET, Brooklyn rapper John “Fabolous” Jackson is going to have a spanking new website devoted to–you guessed it–him!

Fab’s new interactive website,, is set to take precedent among users whose lifes revolve around the things they view as fabolous. The website, which is scheduled to launch in about a week and a half, will give users a chance to experience all things that are fabolous under the realms of fashion, technology, sports, music and of course, Fabolous himself.

As for Fabolous’ blogging responsiblities and personalized content, the Def Jam represenative has a bundle of material catered specifically for Fab revealed, “I’m definitely going to do some blogs on the site. I’ve really held back my internet presence just for the involvement in this site. For people who like to go on and see blogs and the entertainment that I bring, I really saved that for my actual website.”

What can we, as people who aspire to live fabolous lives, expect to find on this groundbreaking smorgasbord of digital delights?

  • An algorithm/mathematical brain teaser that reveals Fabolous’ real age.
  • A fashion section in the vein of thisiswhyyourefat that features reader-submitted photos of disgustingly baroque headwear combinations. Check Troy Horowitz’ entry: a bandana wrapped around a Yankee fitted, then ensconced in a wreath of paper towel headbands personalized with scented magic markers.
  • Live footage of gladiatorial insect battles between the roaches found on Jadakiss’ tour bus and those in Ghostface’s childhood cereal box. Functional Cee-Lo SideBetz system (now in beta testing) to be fully integrated by Fall 2009.
  • YouTube clips of Minnesota Timberwolves guard Sebastian Telfair missing jumpers and pouting on the bench during losses.
  • The current time and temperature in the Brevoort Houses, which inexplicably operates on Mountain Standard Time.
  • “Ask Lil Mo.” Relationship advice and discussion of Paleozoic foliage (Cambrian through Carboniferous ONLY!).
  • A special online Desert Storm version of “Clue?” Example: Young Bleed shot King Just outside of Hot97 with the candlestick.
  • Consistently underwhelming music from a talented rapper.
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