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Diddy’s Forthcoming Feats of Spiritual Endurance.

March 12, 2009


As everyone on Twitter is by now aware, rap impresario Sean “P Diddy/Puff Daddy/Ciroc Obama/Puffin C. Puffinstein” Combs recently joined Badu-impregnator Jay Electronica on a 48-hour spiritual Lakota vision quest. Their source of sensory deprivation: solid foods. That’s right, people, no deep-fried corn dogs for two days straight. Combs chronicled the journey on his Twitter Feed with many, many exclamation points and public exhortations for internet solidarity with his followers. But what can the creator of Bad Boy Entertainment  do for an encore? Shit, he’s already run the marathon and fled from police with J-Lo and a ratchet in the glovebox. A couple ideas:

  • Subject himself to 48 hours of repeated listens to his remake of Led Zeppelin’s “Kashmir” from the Godzilla Soundtrack.
  • Eschew sunglasses for an entire dinner, excluding the ingestion of grapefruit and other eye-threatening produce.
  • Read all BlackBerry Messenger missives that G-Dep, Black Rob, Craig Mack, Third Eye, and Chopper of “Making the Band” have left (“Puff, it’s Craig…Craig Mack. I’m downstairs. Are we still in the Arista building on 57th or what? I swear this shit is looking a lot like a Club Monaco! LOL?”)
  • Actually complete the super-spy mission he started in his “I Am King” fragrance ad by mimeographing those top secret coupons for a 1/2-price side with the purchase of any veal-inspired entree from Macaroni Grill.
  • Greco-Roman wrestle the members of the L.O.X., one at a time (watch for Sheek Louch’s “Sicilian Defence, Dragon Variation”).
  • Not use Twitter again.
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